Frustrated

Yeah it's been a while again. I'm just really terrible at finding the motivation to write lately. However, YouTube is taking forever to load the videos I want to watch so as I wait for them to buffer, I will write.

Shawn was here for the weekend. It was fabulous. I spent way too much of his money and I feel slightly guilty but also awesome at the same time haha.

I feel sort of depressed lately. Like, overwhelmed, nervous, scared, sad...i'm in no way anywhere near suicidal or anything crazy like that. I just feel like I need an overhaul on my life and that i'm stuck or something right now. I think having a job or working would help that because I wouldn't feel so dependant on my parents and I want to have a job but I don't ever feel motivated enough to go out and do something about it. And when I did and I put out resumes, I never got any responses. Well I did but the one place that called me back, my mom didn't want me to work at. So I guess i'm not allowed to be choosy about where I work...unless it involves being "sexy" in the job description. Nice work Mom!

I was hoping to live in Residence at school next semester instead of having to commute every freakin day but there are many many things that worry me about that as well. I have a feeling that with my tendencies to forget about school work and party instead, I would never get any work done. I would probably show up for more classes on time. But then, what if I end up hating my room mate and we fight all the time or we're bitchy to each other or something. What if she's up all night and I can't sleep or, more likely, I can't sleep and i'm up all night and it pisses her off? I guess I shouldn't be worrying about that kind of stuff before it even happens but whatever! It's who I am.

I'm really excited to go back to school tomorrow and just get the rest of this semester finished and over with so I can make some money and relax a bit.

I think that's all I have to say for now.

Song of the Day: "Klash-Up" by Celldweller.

<3